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Chicken Scratch

I’ve recently discovered that I love Appalaichan music. If you’re wondering what that means well, it’s a form of banjo strummin’, fiddle fiddlin’, harmoninzin’, knee-slappin’, yeeeehawin’ country/folk type music that originated in the Appalachian Mountains of the United States.

I hadn’t always known that I liked it or even what it was called. My appreciation of music has come a long way since I started developing my own tastes and discovering music back in grade school. I think I’ve always sort of liked that sound but until now I never really took it seriously as a genre of music that I could listen to or identify with as a music lover. It’s not something that you usually hear on the radio. It’s not really commerical – unless you’re defining “commerical as a commerical for mother’s day at the Chicken Scratch Shack. Or something.

I’m Chinese American. Well, I’m full blooded Chinese but I’m a first generation so I really consider myself an American (not only because I literally am but because I don’t really identify with anyone from China). This love for the sounds of twangy instruments makes me wonder what in my childhood could have inlfluenced my taste in music. How does a little girl growing up in America with traditional Chinese parents fall in love with a genre of music like old- timey Appalaichan music?

How did that happen? I wonder if these tastes and preferences are inherent in our DNA from birth and it just takes some experiementation to find them or if this is something competely learned. Is it another case of Nature Vs Nurture?

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Live Through This…

and you won’t look back

There’s one thing I want to say, so I’ll be brave
You were what I wanted
I gave what I gave
I’m not sorry I met you
I’m not sorry it’s over
I’m not sorry there’s nothing to say

I’m not sorry there’s nothing to say

When ever a relationship ends I turn to the usual suspects to for comfort. My aunt, my cousin, strangers, music, and movies.

My aunt has been through everything I’ve been through but about 10 years before me. We’re undoubtedly different people, but she has experienced a lot of what I’m just now going through. I suppose it’s not so much that I turn to her for understanding and empathy but more for insight and word of what it’s like once I pass through the tunnel. She knows what’s waiting on the other side for me and has the flashlight to guide me through.

I turn to my cousin for empathy and a little bit of that Sex In The City mindset. She lives in New York, Hong Kong before that. Although she is a few years my youth (younger? Did I use that phrase correctly?) she definitely outranks me in relationship experience. This is neither depressing nor embarrassing for me. There are other parts of life in which I hold more experience. We depend on each other for different insight, especially since a lot of the time our opinions are quite varied. I still appreciate her advice and her positive attitude that sometimes I lack.

For some reason I’ve found easiest to open up to strangers when it comes to matters of the heart. They don’t have any background to judge you by and are forced to look at the situation objectively. Sometimes you learn things about strangers in this way, you get a small glimpse into a life they once had if they’re willing to open up. Advice from strangers should be taken with a grain of salt of course, there is the question of credibility and their objectivity is not good for certain situations. Plus, it’s just nice to talk to people and make a human connection with a real emotion that we all share.

Music is an obvious choice for a lot of people. I tend to make playlists of events and or periods of my life. Sometimes I will listen to the same 10 songs for a month and that will become my October 2006 playlist. When I hear those songs it takes me back to that place in my life and everything I was feeling during that time. Time capsules of music. I can’t even begin to describe the healing properties of music but I have a feeling you already know so I will just leave it at that.

A darkened theater makes for a great transportation portal. The only thing you can really see is the screens and then you’re enveloped by what’s displayed on it and what you’re hearing on the Dolby or THX surround sound. Movies are my escape. For two hours I can forget, I can be somewhere else and look at someone else’s life. It can be beautiful, exciting, insightful, confusing, mysterious, and/or hilarious. It’s a mini-vacation. There’s something to be said about going to the movies alone.

I’ve prescribed these things for myself and I’ll live through this.