and you won’t look back
There’s one thing I want to say, so I’ll be brave
You were what I wanted
I gave what I gave
I’m not sorry I met you
I’m not sorry it’s over
I’m not sorry there’s nothing to sayI’m not sorry there’s nothing to say
When ever a relationship ends I turn to the usual suspects to for comfort. My aunt, my cousin, strangers, music, and movies.
My aunt has been through everything I’ve been through but about 10 years before me. We’re undoubtedly different people, but she has experienced a lot of what I’m just now going through. I suppose it’s not so much that I turn to her for understanding and empathy but more for insight and word of what it’s like once I pass through the tunnel. She knows what’s waiting on the other side for me and has the flashlight to guide me through.
I turn to my cousin for empathy and a little bit of that Sex In The City mindset. She lives in New York, Hong Kong before that. Although she is a few years my youth (younger? Did I use that phrase correctly?) she definitely outranks me in relationship experience. This is neither depressing nor embarrassing for me. There are other parts of life in which I hold more experience. We depend on each other for different insight, especially since a lot of the time our opinions are quite varied. I still appreciate her advice and her positive attitude that sometimes I lack.
For some reason I’ve found easiest to open up to strangers when it comes to matters of the heart. They don’t have any background to judge you by and are forced to look at the situation objectively. Sometimes you learn things about strangers in this way, you get a small glimpse into a life they once had if they’re willing to open up. Advice from strangers should be taken with a grain of salt of course, there is the question of credibility and their objectivity is not good for certain situations. Plus, it’s just nice to talk to people and make a human connection with a real emotion that we all share.
Music is an obvious choice for a lot of people. I tend to make playlists of events and or periods of my life. Sometimes I will listen to the same 10 songs for a month and that will become my October 2006 playlist. When I hear those songs it takes me back to that place in my life and everything I was feeling during that time. Time capsules of music. I can’t even begin to describe the healing properties of music but I have a feeling you already know so I will just leave it at that.
A darkened theater makes for a great transportation portal. The only thing you can really see is the screens and then you’re enveloped by what’s displayed on it and what you’re hearing on the Dolby or THX surround sound. Movies are my escape. For two hours I can forget, I can be somewhere else and look at someone else’s life. It can be beautiful, exciting, insightful, confusing, mysterious, and/or hilarious. It’s a mini-vacation. There’s something to be said about going to the movies alone.
I’ve prescribed these things for myself and I’ll live through this.