I often hear people say “false sense of security” when they talk about people attainging certain material item or even some kind of personal relationship. For example, getting a can of mace to carry around in your purse might give one a false sense of security. Another example, being married gives one a false sense of security.
So, what I want to know is what does it mean to be secure. If everything you ever thought could make you feel better actually doesn’t do anything for you then does this mean everything in our lives is false? It seems like nothing actually makes one secure, so is “security” a made up term, like “love”? (I’ll save the Love theory for another entry)
It actually angers me a little when people say that now, as if they are so much more “secure” and perhaps that’s not even what they intended it to mean. Perhaps they realize that they do the same thing and find themselves feeling falsely secure as well. Still, one shouldn’t trivialize something someone else has so much faith in. That bugs me.
It’s not a matter of having something you believe in crushed as much as it is not believing in fairytales to begin with. IF I buy mace and walk around with a false sense of security it doesn’t lower my chances of getting mugged tomorrow at all, it’s just a bigger shock when it happens. If I know the mace is pointless and expect to get mugged no matter what then I’m already ahead of the game because nothing can surprise me. There’s no way to make fake things real, but figuring out what are the fake things that aren’t worth believing in is invaluable – even if those fake things make great bed time stories.
I guess I’m saying you can’t really know if it makes someone feel secure or not. Is it wrong to feel more safe because you have these something that makes you more prepared?
To me it seems like a bit of a superiority complex to mock people because they feel more secure for having these things. Maybe whatever it is does give them peace of mind but perhaps they are actually more prepared mentally and physically with it. I don’t think it means they are falsely so.
I agree that people shouldn’t trivialize peoples faith in things. Faith can go a long way.
What I do see as a false sense of security is when people put too much reliance in other things out of their control. Just because someone has a can of mace doesn’t mean they can walk into the neighborhoods known for muggings and feel as they will be safe.
One shouldn’t think that getting married will make all relationship issues go away, but then again, marriage shouldn’t be something that is stepped into without a feeling of security before one gets married.
For me feeling secure is more about knowing what ones limitations are (mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually) and living within a sensible reality close to those limitations. That is not to say those limitations cannot be expanded, as growth means pushing said limitations. As my old sensei used to say, if someone were to pull a gun on him, “25 years of training, down the tubes.” But he also said, “The real master is never there when the fight goes down”