“For all you know, I could be fashion… monger.”
It’s time to clean my room again. This means mostly cleaning my wardrobe. I think I have pieces in my closet that I’ve had since high school, possibly middle school. No, that can’t be right. There’s no way that anything I wore in middle school fits into my current aesthetic.
Anyway, everytime this seasonal cleaning day comes around I always realize that I have a lot of clothes, A LOT. The worst part is that I can never bear to part with any of them. I always think “Oh I can still wear this when I’m feeling ___.” I’m usually trying to recreate a look that is actually outdated but since it works with other things in my wardrobe, I think it works period. For someone who has a lot of clothes, I’m really bad at putting outfits together, unless it’s a costume.
Have you ever seen Clueless? Do you remember in the beginning of the movie when Cher is trying to get dressed? She is at her computer and there is a program that looks like a paper doll of her and every piece of clothing in her closet is catalogued in a database so she can sort of mix and match to show what she would look like wearing these pieces. I need this program. It would save me so much time in the mornings. Maybe it could even tell me if one of my pieces doesn’t go with anything and I could just sell it or give it away.
So today is the day that I go through that pile of clothing next to my bed, sort through my hamper, shuffle through my closet and take out anything I don’t wear anymore or anything that isn’t seasonally appropriate and swap it out with the winter stuff I have in boxes. Oh boy.
High Flyin Part 2: Electric Trapeze Boogaloo
So I have video that I’ve been reluctant to post of my trapeze experience with Nicole a few months back. But for the sake of posterity (or something like that) I shall share it with you.
note: the part where I get stuck hanging at the end was not intentional. I had tried to do this knee hang trick three times already (you can only try it once every time you jump off) and this is the time I finally got my legs over the bar. I was so excited that I spaced out and tried to continue the movement instead of going back the way I came which is why I got stuck in that awkward position. Otherwise you would have seen me let go and do a wicked flip. *sigh*
also: Man, I am so loud. Did you hear me say “Okay.” at the end? I was as loud as the instructor and I wasn’t even yelling like she was!
New: Google Reader Shared Items Widget
Try to say that five times fast.
Anyway I’ve been pretty obsessed with Google Reader for awhile. It’s the best thing to do when you’re at work and need a break. You can just click on Google Reader and be informed on everything that is happening in the world at the moment in one easy place. Or just what is happening on the blogs of your friends. Or in the world of celeb blogs. Whatever.
So I discovered this widget Google created which shares your shared items with people who may not use Google Reader or aren’t included on your shared list. As you can I’ve added it to the sidebar. Down there… yeah, scroll down. There it is!
I had some trouble deciding on a color scheme though. I would prefer black but their black option offered orange text which just gave it this weird halloween themed look. I also liked gray (or grey if you’re fancy) but the light gray text was on a white background and I think might produce some problems, depending on your screen contrast, resolution, etc. So I went with something else, which I can’t remember now.Â
Here are the options I was considering, none of which really fit the current color scheme of the site. Any thoughts?
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I Was A Dancer All Along
Lykke Li, “Dance, Dance, Dance”
I’m in New York right now. Staying at Tracy’s… and I can’t sleep. My quarters are comfortable enough, it’s just that I can’t sleep because I can’t stop thinking. I was just thinking about the fact that I don’t have an anchor anymore and of course that snowballed into a big deal in my mind.
I guess I always try to keep those kinds of thoughts at bay because I know it’s just one of those things that will keep me up at night. Those kind of things creep up on me when I’m not seeing anyone in particular and I think, “I’m pretty much alone in life.”
It’s either no one or everyone. I know Jamie would be there for me if I needed her. At the same time I know there are certain family members (mom, dad, Auntie E) who would be as well. Though for some reason that isn’t enough to be comforting. I know they would be there for me in the event of an emergency like if I needed to be bailed out of jail or if I wound up in the hospital. But what about in the event that I need someone to sit on the couch and watch a movie with on a Friday night? Or if I needed someone to cook dinner with? When I need to be comforted who do I turn to? Myself.
I haven’t had an anchor for awhile now and I’m not sure how I feel about that. I know it definitely makes me a different person. I wonder if this is a bad thing. Perhaps I just need to get used to the idea of being completely autonomous (which I have been for some time now) even though I have a natural desire to be co-dependent. I spend a lot of time thinking about the future and when I think about where I want mine to go, sometimes I get scared when I realize I’m just planning for myself. I’m not saying that I want to plan someone else’s future, but I guess I kind of freak out when there are no guidelines for me to keep in mind. I’m not tracing along lines that are already there and adding flourishes where ever I feel they are appropriate. I am totally freehanding it and that scares me.
It’s sort of a lose-lose situation here. I can either be completely self-reliant and convince myself that I will be happier this way. Or I can admit that I am more comfortable when I have someone else in my life, and realize how unhappy I am without one.