life is all kinds of things. it’s funny, not funny “ha ha” but the other way. it’s weird. it’s sucky. it’s beautiful. it’s a journey. it’s a race? is it about the destination? or getting lost and finding your way again? it’s not a cake walk. it’s a struggle. it’s a fight.
sometimes though, sometimes I tell myself to give up. to stop fighting back. just give up and see what happens. what will happen when I stop fighting it and I just love whatever comes instead of constantly railing against it. things that are making me unhappy, maybe I should just give up and know that this is one of those times when I don’t get to win.
maybe life is not an uphill battle. maybe life is a roller coaster and this is not one of the high points (maybe it doesn’t even end in a high point). maybe I just have to know that even though it’s lasting longer than I’d ever thought it would, maybe that’s just what has to happen. and maybe there’s no explanation for it. there’s no rationale, no reason, no rhyme. all my theories, explanations, and rationalizations about life are all trifling.
while it’s fighting me and throwing its punches, all I can do is take the hits with a bittersweet love for it in my soul.
I think I just stumbled on to the idea of Nihilism, but cozier.