Wish I Was Someone Else
I feel so translucent.
Translucent is the equivalent of stupid/meaningless/dense. I used to think really deep thoughts. I find it’s a lot easier to deal with life when your head is empty… but in order to be like that I need to trade in all meaningful conversation, intelligence and depth for trendy clothes and general air headed politeness.
That’s the only way to fit in with society, to dilute your personality and opinions. I like it because it makes things simpler but I hate it because it makes me look stupid. AND if I want money I need to grow some balls and become absolutely ruthless…not afraid to stab people in the back, kiss ass, and act superior…I hate this the most because it takes the most effort to act this way.
What am I supposed to do?
Somebody turn me into a mermaid.
side note: various fireworks started at around 8:20 pm….sirens started at 9:03 pm.
Roadtrip Recap
OK so…*rubbing palms together* let’s get down to business.
THE INSTIGATOR: My long weekend absence from any internet connection has caused me to loose touch with all of you
THE MISSION: Fill me in on what you’ve been up to in the past four days…the summarized version.
THE OUTCOME: I’ll get caught up on everything and it’ll be like I never left…although, confusion is part of who I am so that will never be avoided.
Here’s my story:
I had lotsa fun and met a crap load of new people this weekend. I drove to San Francisco with Maxx, or rather I rode with Maxx to San Francisco. So not all that was planned actually happened.
Friday – On friday I DID go clubbing. It was pretty fun, stayed up ’till about 6 a.m. I some SG people… dave_h, jazmin, trillian, ava, coco, tuffy, 660, captin kungfu, olivia and s5.
We went to a bar called Jezebels on Friday night and drank half an old fashioned glass of Sake and it kicked my ass, meaning I was really red and getting “the shivers” (“the shivers”= I get really shaky and shivery and my teeth start chattering but I am NOT cold, in fact I’m so hot you could burn your eyes just looking at me, that sounded kinda conceited, that’s not what I meant).
RIGHT, so then we went to Fake and I shook some booty with Jazmin, Sara, Nicole, and Dave. Disco Stu was there too! ha ha.
Then I almost died several times whilst sitting nervously in Sara’s car while she tried to “drive” Dave, Jazmin and I to Sparky’s to get food. Of course I’m the only sober one in the vehicle but I don’t know my way around. Finally we made it to the diner and met up with Maxx and Steve and Olivia. went to sleep some time after the sun came up on Saturday…it was an interesting evening.
Saturday – Went to fisherman’s wharf and the pier area with Maxx and stalked “onefoolishline”. Then went to dinner with Dave and Nicole. I love curry now… or just the chicken tiki(?) masala that I got at New Delhi. I’m definitely adding Indian food to my list of things to do again. Later Dave, Jazmin, and I rented (in Dave’s singing voice) 24 Hour Party People but I fell asleep for the last 30 minutes or so….HEY! I’m sick and stuff, lay off.
Sunday – Met up with my friend Joanie from high school on Haight. Went to Amoeba and bought some vinyl (QOTSA “Go With the Flow” 12″ on clear vinyl, Pet Shop Boys’ “Love Comes Quickly” vinyl, and The English Beat’s “I Just Can’t Stop It.”) Also ate the best nachos in the world: Sweet Heat on Haight St near Cole, I think. Get the Nachos Sambrosa with steak, guacamole and sour cream. a half order is more than enough for one person. Went to Arrow and got burnt by a fucking cigarette…yes, people were smoking inside the bar, this is illegal in California but whatever. I wouldn’t mind as much if people weren’t packed in like sardines and I didn’t get burnt by some drunk girl.
Monday – went to a friend of a friend’s daughter’s birthday BBQ. It was fun. Watched her throw legos and rocks, but not her birthday cake. Ate TOO many hot dogs…even before the BBQ. Rode the ferry, played word association for almost a full hour, watched Biloxi Blues…
Home today….and that’s my story, the condensed version.
We Are The Dreamers of Dreams
I’m getting into one of my “I have a boring life and I need to do something exciting with it” moments again. I hate that…I never end up doing anything,
Earth is so huge and yet I feel like there is nowhere to go. Beyond the many continents, countries and cultures that this planet holds, there is nothing else for me here.
There is no secret passage to Narnia where I can find real magic. My Pegasus and unicorn are not waiting for me in a field of sunflowers. My mermaid friends are not waiting for me to go explore the depths and swim with whales. There is no flying carpet hovering outside my window for me. There is only reality….the bitterness and struggle of life in modern society and I have to live with it because I cannot change it.
I hope one day science and technology can force imagination into reality. Maybe then there will be hope for fairytale love. (no, I’m not lonely. It’s just another one of those imaginary things I wish existed)
We are the music-makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams.
The Dream
I’m living in a three story house, it’s made of stainless steel and thick glass. On one side of the house is a large whale tank, where Belugas swim and play in our windows. The other side of the house is facing the ocean, the beach, the sun. Inside the house remains cool while the weather outside is warm and summery all year round except for an occasional scary, but fun, storm.
The rooms are different colors. We have a blue bathroom, a white one, a mint green guest room, a red, black and grey living room, the kitchen is silver, and the master bedroom changes from clean linen to a deep, brooding crimson when needed. More rooms will be added later.
Music is always playing. Like the colors, it changes from room to room. The bathrooms play whatever the occupant wishes, the living room plays chill house music low enough to talk over, the kitchen plays upbeat jazz, the guest room plays Enya and Sade, the master bedroom plays whatever fits the mood, automatically. Right now it is playing Fiona Apple’s Paper Bag
I have all the money I need, but not excess. I’m healthy and happy. I enjoy swimming in our pool, designing clothes, having lunch with friends and hosting dinner parties. My man is kind to everyone, passionate, mysteriously handsome, and extremely creative. He understands when I am feeling blue and does not always know the answers to all my questions. We don’t have any children besides our cat (an orange tabby named Milo) and two dogs (a stout little Pug, named Otis, and a Rottweiler, named Simon).
This is my story. Someday, if I am meant to be happy…it will happen.