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The One Thing I Miss The Most

On Saturday night I was back in my hometown and I fell asleep next to the boy. I woke up and I was thinking:

“I miss this, I miss this so much and I will not get to have this for a very, very long time. Tomorrow I will be going back to S.F. and away from everything I grew up with, everyone I grew up loving.”

I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want to give up the comfortable, familiar love of home. Home is so much more than just a word for me, it’s my world. Like everything that is not home is a vacation, even if I move it will not be “home”. Like now, where I am right now, this is not home.

I miss Daniel most of all, out of everything. Being in my room, it didn’t even feel like my room so much. I mean it felt like my house which is home, but I could bear to leave, but Daniel’s bedroom…I wanted to stay there forever

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Reporting From The Bay Area

Friday: woke up at 6 in the AM and started driving with the family to San Francisco. Arrived at the school at around 2 pm.

Saturday: Went to Target with the family to buy towels and other stuff I might have forgotten. Got back home and met my roommate, Jill. Went to a party that night and then down the street to another get together.

Today: woke up and then attended the SGSF stitch n bitch. now I’m sitting alone in the apartment while my drinking age roomies are bar hopping. it’s cool though, I don’t care, I get to take out the trash…maybe I’ll meet someone cool in the hallway.

I feel like I used to actually have thoughts…not lately, I haven’t had time to think. or maybe I believe that if I start thinking that I will start to feel homesick. I think I just need my own room. I also miss sounds of other people in the house, I miss my TV stations, I miss my Daniel. I’ll bet he doesn’t miss me.

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Couldn’t Sleep At All Last Night

I went to sleep at 6:30 this morning…thats what it must feel like to be on crack! Before today I was on a 14 hour plane ride (on the 8th) during which I slept probably a total of 3 hours, maybe less, and was sleep deprived that morning anyway.

I slept until 8 (that’s two hours of sleep, folks), when I had to get up and take my grandma to get her blood tested. At the lab the stupid receptionist lady forgot to put our paper work in so we sat waiting for almost an hour for what could have been accomplished in 20 minutes. Fun.

In other news, I somehow had the energy to take down the Christmas tree decorations, rearrange the living room and clean everything in preparation for my going away party. I don’t know what kind of blood runs through my veins. or maybe it’s just sugar water.

So I finally am starting to go through and edit my Hong Kong pics.

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Travel Is In Your Future

Tomorrow morning I am leaving. how exciting. It’s been ummm 10 or 11 years since I’ve been in Hong Kong. My parents and relatives have me taking so much crap with me to my aunt and cousin. I’m taking lots of mail (addressed to my aunt) and presents and steaks. Yeah, as in meat.

I opened my most important presents last night, from my honey, Dnaiel. He bought me seasons 1-5 of FRIENDS on DVD!! I’ll be watching friends for the rest of my life! haha.

Right now, however, I am watching the appendices of Two Towers…a Christmas present I bought for myself. Such great shit!

Again, merry Christmas to everyone and happy new year!

Wanted to add: it doesn’t feel like Christmas because I haven’t watched any Christmas movies yet

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The Road to New Beginnings

Classes are finally over. Christmas time is here. Soon it will be a whole new year, and I don’t know if it means starting over but I know it’s a jumping off point (is that the term?). I could be smarter. I could try to be less analytical and emotional about my personal life. I could learn new things. Let’s see what happens.

All I do know for sure is that I have a limited number of days here at home to be with my loved ones and friends. To enjoy LA and everything it has to offer. To abuse my Disneyland Annual Pass to the fullest extent (hee hee) and to pack up my life into boxes. I know I’ll still have a place here if I need or want it but I think I should learn to be on my own. I think minimizing my material possessions will be good for my soul.

I haven’t really had much to close with for the past month of journal entries, I still don’t right now but I’ll just say happy holidays and be safe on new years.