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That was the year I knew the panic was over…

Listening to: Ellie Goulding

I’m finding myself missing my miserable college years because I’m slowly realizing that was when I felt the most free and most hopeful I had ever/have ever felt in my life.

Now, I’ll go ahead and explain that last statement. I spent two years in San Francisco going to college and being out on my own (read: away from overly protective parents). I thought “Hell yeah, I’m going to get wild and cray-zee!” However, at some point in those two years I went through one of those life changing events that leads to epiphanies and soul searching, that kind of shit. I (slowly and painfully) broke up with my first serious boyfriend. For reals break up, guys, instead of being “on a break” (which is only really a thing for those in denial) I ended up breaking ties for good at some point in those two years.

It was painful (as young, emo break ups usually are) but it was also a great time in my life for feeling so low that “up” was the only direction in which I could head. I was around one of the most supportive group of friends that one could ask for. All my new college friends were all so positive and supportive in an introspective and enlightening way which was what I needed. You know, as opposed to the “get over it by going out and partying your worries away” kind of way. I don’t know why I thought I would be a partier in college, I never was one of those people in high school or elementary school. Sad emo kid was my forté, I should have known that old habits are hard to break.

Also, I don’t know if you’re aware but being a full time college student means you are taking 15 hours worth of classes per week. Compare this to a 40 hour work week. That’s 25+ hours to mess around and do NOTHING. What that? Studying? Oh yeah, so let’s dedicate an additional 5-7 hours a week to “working”. (Can you just imagine what my GPA was? I really don’t remember but I do have a Bachelor’s Degree now so couldn’t have been that bad.)

Patrick Starfish’s To Do List

Anyway, I had a lot of time to be alone with my thoughts, because my friends were all working or studying. My thoughts led me to a lot of clichés like:”The world is your oyster” (So slurp it? Throw some lemon juice on it?) and “Nowhere to go but up.” I spent a lot of time wandering around San Francisco thinking deep thoughts about my life, what I did wrong, what could have been so right, etc. Looking back on it now, it was fun, it was a good time, and I think I’d rather be there than where I am now: working until 9:30 pm at a job that I don’t love. I wish I had that amount of time to think and be alone with my thoughts instead of thinking up to-do lists and reminders about things that need to get done but not having enough time to do them and eat/sleep/live.

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Grandma

My last remaining grandparent passed away back in February. This was my grandma aka “mahmah”, my dad’s mom. I saw her pretty much every single day from the time I was born until I moved out of my parents house at age 21.

Some people aren’t close to their grandparents and some people are very good friends with their grandparents. I can’t really say that we fell into either category. My grandma didn’t speak English and I only speak a limited amount of Cantonese so it’s not like we had very meaningful conversations. She wasn’t like my mom and dad who would praise or punish me. She was just there, always, and ready to give. Mostly, she would give food.

Grandma didn’t make traditional chow mein or artfully steamed fish, well she did but that wasn’t what I liked about her cooking, she would make dishes like ground pork and shrimp omelets! Salty wontons in soup! “Spanish” rice with cut up hot dogs! Curry! Battered and fried stuffed eggplant!

Grandma's Hands

These are the familiar, possibly provincial, possibly just resourceful, dishes that I grew up eating and this is today my “comfort food”. Of course, nobody knows how to make this stuff in the family, nobody wanted to learn I guess. All the dishes were just so weird and so very “grandma” I’m sure no one ever though “Oh yes, this will be a good dish to share… with people.” No, it was just dinner, good old weird dinner dishes.

Sometimes I remember that she won’t be cooking for me anymore and that thought is enough to bring me to tears. It’s not that I only miss by grandmother for her cooking, it’s just that grandma and food go hand in hand and it very much the core of the grandma experience. I miss pretty much everything about her sometimes and it feels like this void that can never be filled again.

I'm glad I have this picture

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Downside of Non-Alcoholim #27

 

Whenever I have a conversation with a drunkened co-worker at a work celebration event, it almost always leads to embarrassing situations for me. I tend to forget that people who have been drinking are usually little more friendly and outgoing than they usually are.
It means the next time I see them I act a little too friendly upon first encounter and it slips my mind that they may not actually remember that we talked for an hour last Friday. Then, for the rest of the minute that my food is heating in the microwave, I have to pretend like everything is totally cool and I always ask people if they got that thing checked out by a doctor.
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Projects Past, Present, and Future

It’s almost December now and I’ve been thinking a lot about my new years resolutions and how I’ve mostly kept them. I say mostly because I have already bent the rules on my 365 Project tumblr,

today's 365 post!

bought 13 items that contribute to my wardrobe this year (instead of 12) and am behind on reading 24 books right now. Still, I’m actually pretty pleased with my progress so far and already have plans for bigger and better resolutions for next year!

The relative success of these resolutions have me thinking about projects that I’ve tried to hatch and incubate in the past. I have one in particular that I’ve been thinking about picking up again next year, which involves video and interviewing people. As grandma gets older I feel more and more that it’s really important for us to capture her stories I had been thinking that it would be good to capture some moments and stories with her while she is still able to share them. She’s 85 now and I still don’t know much about her life back in Vietnam. I feel that we should get something to remember her by on video. I’d like to learn how to set up a shot, basic lighting, and how compose and edit a compelling video interview.

I’m hoping to do more of these interviews with people in my life and questions that I often wonder about. This sounds vague but the whole concept itself is pretty general so let’s go with that for now.

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It’s Been A Long Time

Where has the time gone? Last time I posted something was back in spring, I completely skipped summer! I wasn’t in crygenic freeze or anything, I was just too busy to get a thought down that wasn’t under 140 characters.

The most notable thing I did this summer was enroll in a design class at Art Center’s Art Center at Night program. I took a class called Design 360, which is like a sampler platter of all the disciplines that Art Center has to offer. It was nice to know that there are at least 13 other people in the world who wanted to do something artistic when they were in school but ended up not pursing anything remotely artistic (in terms of a career path) and decided they wanted a second chance. Well, that was more or less our collective story.

I had a lot of fun trying to be a teacher’s pet and an A student. I learned how one combines process and creativity and applies it to any work that has to be done to meet the needs of a client. We my favorite of the topics covered was probably product design with graphic design coming in second. Surprisingly, photography was not a session that I enjoyed at all. I also did not enjoy the day before the final was due and sleeping for only 3 hours. (Oh, riiiight, that’s why I don’t want to go back to school.)

inspired by mid-century modern
transportation design inspired by other iconic designs

 

My resolutions have been going well(ish) 365 is on track, 24 books is pacing slow (I’ve been buying more books than I can read though) and 12 items is pacing too quickly! Currently at 15 books finished and in the middle of reading 2 now. And I can’t buy anything until November… but at least I’m not overspent AND I have saved an amazing amount of money this year from not buying clothes. Gee who’d have thought?

You hide my clothes? I'm wearing everything you own!

Patrick and I have done lots of fun things together like glow in the dark mini golf. Planning vacations that we won’t go on to exotic places like Seoul, Berlin, Riviera Maya, and New York City. Last weekend we went to LobsterFest where he de-shelled his first lobster. He didn’t really grow up in a seafood kind of family, I don’t think they have oceans in St. Louis. Hell, we even got our motorcycle licences on American Badass Weekend (aka 4th of July Weekend).

Technically, I've been riding since I was 4. No big.

 

My little IndieClick was bought by Demand Media. When I say “my” IndieClick I don’t mean I started it or own it, I mostly mean that’s been not just work but a big part of my life for the past 5 years so I feel like I’ve put a lot of myself into the company. It’s awesome to see what has happened to it. Our new CEO is Richard Rosenblatt, who sold Intermix Media (MySpace) to News Corp (Rupert Murdoch), which is kind of amazing. Then he started another company which bought my company, also amazing.

The downside to all this is that now I work in Santa Monica, which sounds horrible, I know. This is the worst thing to happen in the history of things! The problem is that I live across town from work (the “town” being the City of Los Angeles), instead of at least living on the same side of La Cienega. Almost all my friends are on the east side, the food is better, the extracurricular activities are better, the snooty hipsters are better. Instead of spening 20-30 minutes riding the train in to work, I spend 1h 40min riding a train and bus.

I will now leave you with this which Clint shared with on Google Reader:

Running on Empty (Revisited) from Ross Ching on Vimeo.

With “Carmageddon” looming in Los Angeles, I decided to take my “LA with no cars” video and re-edit it with new music, coloring and opening shots. Editing was done in Final Cut, coloring done with After Effects and shot on a Canon 60D.

Music: Wim Mertens – Often a Bird

Here’s the basics:

1. Record for 20-30 mins.

2. Go frame by frame and grab pieces of the road that aren’t obstructed by a car. Eventually, you will have every piece of the road.

3. Put the static image of the road in with the moving background.

For more information see: http://rossching.com/running-on-empty