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If That’s The Way It Is, Then That’s The Way It Is

Yesterday I spent some time thinking about “the past.”

For some reason the past always seems to be filled with more fondness than the present. It doesn’t matter which past it is. My theory is that because years are condensed into a small portion of my memory I only have room for things I want to remember and those are either pure fun or pure sadness. Things happening now are spread out over a longer period of time… I guess it’s like defragmenting your computer. There are huge gaps between the important information in the present so it takes awhile to recall the good times. When the memory has been defragmented the memories are more concentrated in the area they are given. There is a higher joy/pain to space ratio.

I always seem to want to go back to “the past.” I want to revisit those feelings. I want physically be in the memories I hold in my mind. I try to do that but as we all know, “you can never go back.” And I know this. I know it will never be the same again, but I think I’d still like to try and create some new memories while I’m at it.

more after the jump

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A Change’ll Do You Good

I’m thinking I want to change my major. Right now it’s business, or marketing to be more specific. I just don’t think I have that kind of business personality. I mean I think I might have fun in marketing but I don’t know if I have that type-A personality and cut throat nature to succeed in that field. So what do I do now?

I was thinking of marine biology…I’ve always wanted to do that. I’d have to be in school for a REALLY long time though. Or maybe history and I could be a history teacher, or an interior designer. I really don’t know what I want.

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I’ll Show YOU!

Did you used to watch Doogie Howser? Remember at the end of each episode he would write a journal entry on his computer? He would write one or two sentences about the events that happened in the episode that week. Thinking back on it now those entries would make no sense at all and would be totally cryptic because he never actually wrote down what happened, just some kind of reflection on what happened.

I can’t go to sleep. I don’t know if it’s because I’m racked with guilt (is that the expression?) because my roommate has chosen to sleep in the living room instead of the bedroom (which we share) because I’m pissed so I turned on the lights and TV.

Or can’t I sleep because I’m pissed off at her because we went to a friend’s house and I was so tired I was falling asleep in my friends room while she continued to try to get close with Julie’s roommate, who she has a crush on. I’m all for her getting with Gabe (except for the fact that he has a girlfriend, which apparently doesn’t bother Jill at all) but not if she’s going to disregard all responsibility (she was my ride home) to try to get in him to make out with her or whatever her intentions were. Either way, pissed or guilty, I can’t sleep.

I called my “friend” so that I could talk to him, maybe calm down, maybe feel comforted. He’s the only person I can call whenever I need to because he’s the only one I don’t have a problem waking up, he doesn’t mind. He didn’t answer, all five times. He was at a club, which is good, I’m happy for him but after finding out that he was out having fun I didn’t want to talk to him after all. I don’t want to talk to someone who was just out having a good time while I’m home having a shitty time, needing some kind of comfort, some reassurance, just something nice.

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Whistle While You Work

I made my roommates do dishes this morning…and they’re grumpy!

I was doing the trash… well, taking it out, and one of my roommates comes into the kitchen, rinses out her cereal bowl and was about to set it on top of the pile of dirty dishes in the sink when I say, “You know, the dishes in the dishwasher are clean.” So she knows I want her to put the dishes away and put her dish into the dishwasher herself.

“Oh, they are?” She takes a peek. Yes, they are clean and dry. So she has to put them all away while I take the trash to the garbage chute.

I come back to find that the dishwasher is now empty but the pile of dirty dishes is still in the sink. For fuck’s sake, is it really a difficult task to put dishes into a washer? I do it whenever they don’t… which is EVERY TIME!!!

So then my other roommate comes out and sees the dishes…and since I made a verbal note about the dishes yesterday, and since she knows she NEVER does them…she started rinsing them and putting them into the washer. You can tell when she’s upset, she never hides it well.

Do I feel bad? HELL NO! I shouldn’t have to, and there is not reason to make me feel guilty for knowing the dishes were dirty and not doing anything about it. I just took out the trash…and I was the one who loaded up the dishwasher yesterday so that they were clean and dry by today! So everyone can be grumpy and F*** the hell OFF!

I’m not mad, I’m satisfied.

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Dear Bob,

I’m going public with this.

This letter is written from one of the Professors at my school, San Francisco State University. Read it, it’s not only informative but also entertaining.

::This movie has been edited for TV ::

“Dear Bob,

As you are grappling with the budget crisis that is facing our university, I want to offer you some ideas that I believe will transform our institution and create a new and healthy enviornment here on campus…

Rather than making little cuts here and there, I suggest CUTTING YOUR ADMINISTRATION IN HALF…

Such a move will demonstrate that you are indeed the man of vision capable of making tough decisions that your supporters have claimed over the years.

By letting go half of the 54 admisistrators earning over $100,000 a year, figuring an average of $120,000 with benefits added, will save us approximately $4 million.

I PROMISE YOU THAT NONE OF THE FACULTY, STAFF OR STUDENTS WILL MISS THESE ADMINISTRATORS.

Please don’t misunderstand I am not against them…
On the contrary. I see how valuable they can be… Now, with the beginnings of a growing economy, and with the impending defeat of Bush, they will be eagerly sought out by the business community which is aware of the managerial skills they have aquired under your guidance. [this is me: ha ha ha]

Isn’t it time to correct your overcompensation? Of course this has nothing to do with your performance. But certainly no person in his right mind would suggest that the work you are doing is more important than that of the governer or mayor. Yet you recieve about $50,000 more than either of them. Arnold [The Governator] has given up his salary in its entirety. Gavin [Newsom, our mayor] is returning 15% of his compensation. Don’t you think it would be an admirable step, a sign of real leadership, for you to make a similar gesture?”

Then the last part is a couple more sarcastic jabs at the recent cuts our school went through. Our school fees just increased and will continue to increase for the next couple of years. We also completely cut some of the degree programs. Athletics has also lost funding…isn’t it fab?