Did you used to watch Doogie Howser? Remember at the end of each episode he would write a journal entry on his computer? He would write one or two sentences about the events that happened in the episode that week. Thinking back on it now those entries would make no sense at all and would be totally cryptic because he never actually wrote down what happened, just some kind of reflection on what happened.
I can’t go to sleep. I don’t know if it’s because I’m racked with guilt (is that the expression?) because my roommate has chosen to sleep in the living room instead of the bedroom (which we share) because I’m pissed so I turned on the lights and TV.
Or can’t I sleep because I’m pissed off at her because we went to a friend’s house and I was so tired I was falling asleep in my friends room while she continued to try to get close with Julie’s roommate, who she has a crush on. I’m all for her getting with Gabe (except for the fact that he has a girlfriend, which apparently doesn’t bother Jill at all) but not if she’s going to disregard all responsibility (she was my ride home) to try to get in him to make out with her or whatever her intentions were. Either way, pissed or guilty, I can’t sleep.
I called my “friend” so that I could talk to him, maybe calm down, maybe feel comforted. He’s the only person I can call whenever I need to because he’s the only one I don’t have a problem waking up, he doesn’t mind. He didn’t answer, all five times. He was at a club, which is good, I’m happy for him but after finding out that he was out having fun I didn’t want to talk to him after all. I don’t want to talk to someone who was just out having a good time while I’m home having a shitty time, needing some kind of comfort, some reassurance, just something nice.