Recently I’ve noticed a number of close friends, minor acquaintances, and friends of friends who have been either getting engaged, getting married, having babies, buying homes, moving in together, etc. and being surrounded by all of this I can’t help but be aware of my age and thinking “What the hell am I doing?”
If you know me, you know that I am not in any way a babymaker or homemaker. I’m not saying I want to settle down, get married, buy a house and start raising a family. Not right now anyway and for some of those things possibly not ever. I guess I just feel like everyone around me is moving through life and I’m just… not.
The silly part is that I’ve always told myself, and others, that I believe everyone works on their own time line and that things happen to everyone when they should happen (not bad things but you know, “things” in general). Despite my personal philosophy though, it’s hard to not notice when the life timelines of everyone else seems to be on the same track and mine is just not.  It’s sort of like knowing you can’t attend a party but feeling a little left out because you didn’t receive an invitation. Which, of course, is irrational and totally stupid.
It makes me wonder if maybe, possibly… there’s something wrong with me.
I know what you’re thinking, “What?! NO! There’s nothing wrong with you. That stuff will happen to you too, it’s just not happening right now.” Or maybe you’re not thinking that at all and you’re actually thinking, “Yeah I can think of a few things wrong with you but I can’t tell you because that would be rude of me.” Of course all my friends are nice. They are decent people and they like me, so they would never think of telling me about the qualities about me that they dislike. So what I really need is to find someone to tell me what is wrong with me. There must be a person who can offer these services, right? Actually, I think that lady from Millionaire Matchmaker could probably do that, but she comes with a pretty hefty fee, the kind of money that I don’t have.
So if you’re reading this, and you’re my friend, next time I say something along the lines of: “What the hell is wrong with me?” You should definitely tell me. Think of it as doing me a favor.
