Strings That Tie To You

I’m on a roller coaster that never really reaches the apex. It keeps sliding back down… backwards… at frightening speeds.

I went to the movies yesterday and It’s so hard to do anything without relating it to him in some way. Which would make sense since I have been doing everything with him since we were in high school. It’s like I don’t remember life before him. The movies, walking by a diner, looking out at a scenic view, walking into a music venue, looking at apartment listings, listening to my favorite 80s songs (this especially), being in the city at night, I can’t get away. He is always there and I wish it would stop.

Friends and Memories

Music: Badly Drawn Boy: Silent Sigh
Color scheme: Dark Brooding Red and Empty Black
Mood: content

I feel like slipping into cool crisp cotton sheets on a windy November afternoon with a warm mug of hot cocoa and some caramel popcorn. A red shag rug next to my bed. The soft sunlight washes in through the curtains and turns the black into blue grey. The phone rings and it’s a familiar voice that I haven’t heard in a very long time. We catch up on the last one and a half years while I watch When Harry Met Sally on mute.

It’s good to be in the company of true friends. The kind who don’t judge and are always warm and welcoming. They give you the same feeling as returning to your Elementary School and realizing how small everything is now, seeing where you used to play tag, the swings you fell off, and where you cried when you realized how much it really hurt to lose someone.

I wish life were as simple as that. No reminders floating around in the back of your head about appointments and to do lists while you drive to work late. No deciding which bills to pay on time and which bills to pay late because you’ve gone over budget again this month. No feeling disappointed and alone when that guy you met at Starbucks didn’t call, or the guy from the newspaper stand, or the blind date. No being annoyed when your loser ex calls and asks to see you again. No wishing your dad was still around to take you to the circus and wishing you could still talk to your mother.

Okay, you get it. I’ll stop now.