Posted on

Adopting a dog, and my views on owning pets

Recently I’ve been thinking about adopting a dog and I’ll admit it would mostly be for its aesthetic value.

I’m only sort of kidding.

I imagine myself sitting on the couch (and by that I mean futon) with the weekend edition of the newspaper (I don’t read actual newspapers) with a beautiful dog lazing about on my lap or near me on the couch (for this scene let’s use a Schanuzer, male, preferably). Maybe when I come home from work it trots up to me and I greet it with a treat from the bowl of treats on the mail table (in this scene let’s say the dog is a Boston Terrier).

While all this seems appealing to me I have this weird “thing” about owning a pet. Well that’s just it, you’re “owning” it. It’s like you’re saying “Hey, so I’m going to own you now. You can do whatever you want, I’ll feed you, you don’t have to work for anything. All I want is your freedom, you belong to me. ”

Plus, if you’re responsible, they’re expensive. You know how for some people (people like myself) going to the doctor seems unnecessary? Well, unless you’re holding your left arm in your right hand and it’s not longer attached to your body in any other way or something like that. Well with pets, you don’t get to decide that they don’t want to see the doctor. You have to take them. Its like having kids. Ugh, kids.

Maybe a boyfriend would cost less.

Posted on

Whistle While You Work

I made my roommates do dishes this morning…and they’re grumpy!

I was doing the trash… well, taking it out, and one of my roommates comes into the kitchen, rinses out her cereal bowl and was about to set it on top of the pile of dirty dishes in the sink when I say, “You know, the dishes in the dishwasher are clean.” So she knows I want her to put the dishes away and put her dish into the dishwasher herself.

“Oh, they are?” She takes a peek. Yes, they are clean and dry. So she has to put them all away while I take the trash to the garbage chute.

I come back to find that the dishwasher is now empty but the pile of dirty dishes is still in the sink. For fuck’s sake, is it really a difficult task to put dishes into a washer? I do it whenever they don’t… which is EVERY TIME!!!

So then my other roommate comes out and sees the dishes…and since I made a verbal note about the dishes yesterday, and since she knows she NEVER does them…she started rinsing them and putting them into the washer. You can tell when she’s upset, she never hides it well.

Do I feel bad? HELL NO! I shouldn’t have to, and there is not reason to make me feel guilty for knowing the dishes were dirty and not doing anything about it. I just took out the trash…and I was the one who loaded up the dishwasher yesterday so that they were clean and dry by today! So everyone can be grumpy and F*** the hell OFF!

I’m not mad, I’m satisfied.