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Thoughtful Consumption

Ever since I started thinking more ecologically consciously I’ve felt guilty for buying… well, anything really. If I purchase something it will eventually end up in a landfill somewhere and that really bothers me. It hasn’t stopped me from consuming, I don’t think there’s any way I can really stop, but once I buy something I eventually think through it’s life cycle and it almost always ends in a “bad” way.

I know there’s no way to halt or keep people from continuing to live how they do now, and I really dont think that’s how we should go about taking steps toward living greener. I think the solution is more about changing the way we do and make things, as opposed to stop doing what we’re doing. For example, people aren’t going to stop driving cars. I know I wouldn’t want to. Taking a step backward in technology isn’t really the best solution. Changing the fuel the cars run on, how they’re made, and their environmental impact would be a much better solution, I think. It’s a step forward in a good direction.

Anyway, with that sort of mentality, I don’t think I could stop shopping. Yes, it’s an unnecessary desire caused by modern society, but the act of shopping is sort of like therapy for me, but this is a conversation for a later time. I’ve decided that, from now on, the purchasing decision thought process will include thinking about the processes in which the items were made, what they are made of, and where they will end up before I buy them. This is obviously something I should have thought of a long time ago but I figured now was a good time to put it in writing so I’ll stick to it. Continue reading “Thoughtful Consumption”

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My Name is __, and I’m a Shopaholic

I took a quiz this morning to see if I am a compulsive buyer…turns out I am. I really could have just told myself that but I just wanted to check by answering obvious questions on the internet.

“They” say that compulsive buying is a disorder and addiction much like alcoholism and smoking cigarettes. “They” say I am trying to fulfill a need – or something along the lines of trying to fix myself using methods that are “destructive.”

So what isn’t abnormal or “acceptable” behavior nowadays?

I wouldn’t say it’s uncontrollable but then again I suppose I’ve never tried to control it. I do feel the need to sell some of my things because I’ve been buying so much. Does that offset any addiction indicators? I would guess there are varying degrees of this disorder, I would say that I fall into having mild compulsive buying disorder.

That is actually a little depressing. It’s not enough that I am indecisive but as it turns out I am never any one thing completely. I’m not depressed enough to actually need medication for it (I don’t think so anyway). I’m not enough of a shopaholic to get myself into a lot of trouble – which isn’t really that bad of a thing I guess. I’m not Chinese enough, according to my mom – I don’t know what she wants me to do, maybe only speak to people in Chinese? Only wear traditional silk Chinese dresses? Tattoo “Chinese” across my forehead?

If I think about it too much it makes me sad to think that I am just mediocre at everything. Not substantial at anything enough to be recognized for it. Not even bad enough at anything to be recognized. Then I start to think “So what? Why should you be any one thing or any one but who you want to be?” And then I feel better. (see this is how I can tell I am not really suffering from depression)

Anyway, back to shopaholicism. I’m not in so deep that I can’t dig myself out. So I guess I just need to realize I am spending too much money and cut it the fuck out. Or I can make money in some other way to balance out the expenditures.

This is the part where I get a hot tip from a friend or relative about some kind of contest where the prize money is just the amount I need to “buy back the farm.” So, what’ll it be? Talent Show? Dog Show? Dodgeball championship? Special Olympics?